Category Archives: Relationship Skills

Save Your Relationship And Be Happy Again

How Can I Save My Relationship When Breaking Up Was A Huge Mistake?

“How can I save my relationship?”  It’s one of the questions I receive most when I consult with clients going through a breakup.  After all, the pain of finding out that someone you love more than anyone suddenly wants out of your life is immensely overwhelming.

When you care about someone deeply and feel you’ve put your entire heart and soul into the relationship, a breakup is devastating.  Maybe you understand why it’s happening.  Maybe things have been rocky for a long, long time and you’ve just never been able to fix them.  Maybe you’re the only one trying to fix them.

Other times, you may not understand at all why your lover suddenly wants out of the relationship.  Sometimes a breakup hits you out of nowhere.  You’ve spent the last 6 months thinking everything is fine, but then your partner suddenly tells you they’ve just been “going through the motions” for 6 months and aren’t truly happy.  Talk about a gut-punch!

So what can you do when you want to stay together and save your relationship?

The first task is to always figure out if getting back together is truly what you want.  Sometimes, we want to get back together just because it feels miserable being alone.  Some people would rather be with anyone rather than be single, even if that certain someone isn’t a good match for them.  The hurt and despair following a breakup sometimes makes us want to get back together even when we know deep down it’s not a good idea.

So, first and foremost, you need to give yourself time away from your ex to figure out what you truly want.  Acting when emotions are at their peak is a sure recipe for disaster.

If, after reflection, you do decide you want your ex back and you want to save your relationship, then don’t despair.  It’s definitely possible to get your ex back.  In fact, it’s possible to have a much better relationship than you ever had before.  Sometimes a breakup is necessary before two people truly “get it” and see just how much their words or actions are negatively impacting their partner.

I’m a big believer in “keeping with the times”, and today text messaging is one of the most predominant forms of communication we have.  Rather than balk at technology, why not use it to your advantage?  We must adapt because when the way we communicate changes, we can’t expect to use the same old school strategies of the past to repair our relationships.

I think text messages, when used effectively, are one of the best ways to reconnect with your ex quickly.  Use them in the right way, and they can definitely help save your relationship.

Michael Fiore, author of Text Your Ex Back and Text The Romance Back, says,

“Text Judo” is the art of using your ex’s existing emotions–positive or negative–to get the positive result you want.

In physical Judo, the martial artist uses an opponent’s strength against him, redirecting the violence and momentum of a punch, kick, or lunge so that the attacker ends up in a bruised and battered pile on the floor. The Judo master expends very little of her own energy. Instead, she relies on the energy of her opponent.

A really good Judo practitioner at work is a sight to behold. A 5-foot- tall woman can throw a 6-foot 5-inch linebacker around like a rag doll if the woman knows BALANCE while the linebacker knows nothing but POWER.

Now, the tricky part is this: strong negative emotion is like a linebacker’s punch. Right now, it’s headed for your soft bits. You need to take that emotion and redirect it so it’s headed somewhere productive. In Judo, this would be to leaving your opponent groaning on the floor. In Text Your Ex Back, it’s getting back together.”

Taken from Text Your Ex Back – Learn more at

The texting process Michael Fiore refers to as “text judo” is very powerful and a great way to save your relationship after a breakup.  Does it work 100% of the time?  Of course not.  Sometimes getting back together is a horrible idea, and sometimes you realize half-way through the process that you’re better off without your ex.

But text judo is a fantastic way to turn your ex’s negative emotions into positive ones.  And if you want to save your relationship, getting your ex to view you again in a positive light means you’ve already won half the battle.

Man Talking To A Woman

Using Your Voice To Turn Her On

Maybe you’re already in a long-term relationship or maybe you first got her digits at the bar last night. Either way, today’s discussion about using your voice to turn her on will help you.

Depending on your specific situation, the technical application might differ, but there are a few time-tested tricks you can use to influence her thinking and how she responds to you. If you’re looking to turn a woman on with your voice alone, there are a number of techniques you can employ to make that happen.

Using your voice to turn her on can be a complex process. You don’t want to come off as too brazen or forward and send her running for the hills, but you also want to let her know that you’re interested and comfortable with what might otherwise be considered more taboo subjects, like sex. Video 5 of the Girlfriend Activation System V2, titled “Nick Sparks on Sexuality”, gives some excellent insights and techniques on how to take an interaction with a woman and escalate it sexually. So check that out.

Now, let’s discuss a few of the better ways to turn a woman on using your voice alone.

1. Talk To Her

I know what you’re thinking: duh! But what I mean is you need to speak with her in person. This is absolutely the most effective way to convey the subtlety of your message without being misinterpreted or misunderstood.

The absolute worst way to approach a woman you don’t know very well is over text message. There’s nothing wrong with texting a little bit. In fact, flirting back and forth over text is pretty socially expected these days.

But if you’re still walking the razor’s edge between flirty and frightening, then I’d suggest staying away from any risqué conversation before the two of you have a chance to get to know each other a little better. It’s so easy for written communication to be misinterpreted, partly because the receiving party doesn’t have the benefit of inflection and facial expressions which help to clarify intent.

Using your voice to turn her on over the phone is fine, too, and you probably won’t be misunderstood, but you lose the added benefits of eye contact and body language. These can greatly increase the efficacy of what you say, so try to talk with her in person when you’re first starting out.

2. Make Your Intentions Clear

Open with a compliment, or a flattering remark. Don’t come off creepy – keep the comment lighthearted, casual, and funny if possible. Something off-the-cuff is most effective, but don’t insult her. Make it clear that you’re interested, so you don’t get relegated to the friend zone.

Be sure to make eye contact as you speak with her. This indicates you’re confident enough as a man to be appreciative of her beauty without being uncomfortable about it. And, as most women will tell you, there’s nothing sexier than a man with confidence.

3. Be Genuinely Interested In Her

A seldom talked about turn on for women is interest. These days, most people don’t know how to hold a normal conversation. More often than not, they’re just waiting for the other person to stop talking in order to start speaking, themselves.

So ask your lady something meaningful, and be genuinely interested in her reply. Use your voice to respond with follow-up questions to show you’re paying attention. You’d be surprised what kind of impression something so simple can make.