“How can I save my relationship?” It’s one of the questions I receive most when I consult with clients going through a breakup. After all, the pain of finding out that someone you love more than anyone suddenly wants out of your life is immensely overwhelming.
When you care about someone deeply and feel you’ve put your entire heart and soul into the relationship, a breakup is devastating. Maybe you understand why it’s happening. Maybe things have been rocky for a long, long time and you’ve just never been able to fix them. Maybe you’re the only one trying to fix them.
Other times, you may not understand at all why your lover suddenly wants out of the relationship. Sometimes a breakup hits you out of nowhere. You’ve spent the last 6 months thinking everything is fine, but then your partner suddenly tells you they’ve just been “going through the motions” for 6 months and aren’t truly happy. Talk about a gut-punch!
So what can you do when you want to stay together and save your relationship?
The first task is to always figure out if getting back together is truly what you want. Sometimes, we want to get back together just because it feels miserable being alone. Some people would rather be with anyone rather than be single, even if that certain someone isn’t a good match for them. The hurt and despair following a breakup sometimes makes us want to get back together even when we know deep down it’s not a good idea.
So, first and foremost, you need to give yourself time away from your ex to figure out what you truly want. Acting when emotions are at their peak is a sure recipe for disaster.
If, after reflection, you do decide you want your ex back and you want to save your relationship, then don’t despair. It’s definitely possible to get your ex back. In fact, it’s possible to have a much better relationship than you ever had before. Sometimes a breakup is necessary before two people truly “get it” and see just how much their words or actions are negatively impacting their partner.
I’m a big believer in “keeping with the times”, and today text messaging is one of the most predominant forms of communication we have. Rather than balk at technology, why not use it to your advantage? We must adapt because when the way we communicate changes, we can’t expect to use the same old school strategies of the past to repair our relationships.
I think text messages, when used effectively, are one of the best ways to reconnect with your ex quickly. Use them in the right way, and they can definitely help save your relationship.
“Text Judo” is the art of using your ex’s existing emotions–positive or negative–to get the positive result you want.
In physical Judo, the martial artist uses an opponent’s strength against him, redirecting the violence and momentum of a punch, kick, or lunge so that the attacker ends up in a bruised and battered pile on the floor. The Judo master expends very little of her own energy. Instead, she relies on the energy of her opponent.
A really good Judo practitioner at work is a sight to behold. A 5-foot- tall woman can throw a 6-foot 5-inch linebacker around like a rag doll if the woman knows BALANCE while the linebacker knows nothing but POWER.
Now, the tricky part is this: strong negative emotion is like a linebacker’s punch. Right now, it’s headed for your soft bits. You need to take that emotion and redirect it so it’s headed somewhere productive. In Judo, this would be to leaving your opponent groaning on the floor. In Text Your Ex Back, it’s getting back together.”
Taken from Text Your Ex Back – Learn more at http://michaelfiore.org.
The texting process Michael Fiore refers to as “text judo” is very powerful and a great way to save your relationship after a breakup. Does it work 100% of the time? Of course not. Sometimes getting back together is a horrible idea, and sometimes you realize half-way through the process that you’re better off without your ex.
But text judo is a fantastic way to turn your ex’s negative emotions into positive ones. And if you want to save your relationship, getting your ex to view you again in a positive light means you’ve already won half the battle.